Finally i have done with my exam, its been awhile since i'm this free.. :)
Today, i'm going to share my personal story.. hope when i wrote it out, it can help me lift some of my unhealthy feeling out.. :D
1st to be truth, i'm not a clumsy type of person who did silly things and act harshly to all people surround me, i just didn't want that people know me and to close to me for some reason..:)
i'm setting their mind to think that i'm silly & stupid.. Until no one realize why i do so..
Meanwhile, sometimes i feel pity to myself.. but i enjoy it, why??
because there will be no one that will care & annoy me.. :)
every things that people do have their pro and con..
So far, there was not even any people that can look through what type of people was i..
I'm using lady gaga - POKER FACE to cover it :p
ok, today i'll start hibernating myself.. its been a rough year for me..
To be truth, sometimes i blame GOD because why he never give me any sweet to enjoy.. i only receive pain & disappointment.. its been the THIRD time for me to face this kind of situation..
Its really unfair.. when things was just good, there will be some obstacles blocking..
and it end up not as i plan.. Dear GOD, i only need a person who can understand, care & support me for all the things i do.. When i found one, you always send them to other person and i end up cleaning their mess..
Once i still can understand, twice was bearable..but what if three times?? its really something.. *sigh
have i ever done something wrong?? do i ever make something bad??
i'll keep my behavior like this until someone can see trough all my thought..
I'm serious with what i said and i'm serious with what i do in the future..
Should i back to the person that cool, but end up with trouble??
or now clumsy but no one cares??
i prefer now, why because no one will care and even say i'm stupid..haha..
currently, i've bound with my own promise not to start any relationship..
and it really distract me to do something more than a friend..
i'm a man of word, i never ever broke my own promise.. Because, if i couldn't bear my own word.. how the hell will i teach my child & other people to do so? while i myself was a promise breaker??
Dear GOD, please.. don't always sends the one that i really care to other people that was not even serious with what they did.. and don't send someone to me when i only feel pity on them..
I've never ever skip prayer before i went to sleep, i never pray for my own good but i send merits to all people around me, so i hope you just give me some happiness that i can feel.. :)
Thanks GOD.. :p
Ciaooooo...
~Cen Wie~
PS : the 3 of this person will know, if they read my blog.. :D
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